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THE NOT SO NEWLYWED GAME
Title: THE NOT SO NEWLYWED GAME
Wife makes a rare appearance inside the man-cave, and she has been yakking nonstop for almost two minutes now...
Wife> .... and the winning couple walks away with a big fat thousand dollar check payable to the charity of their choice. So I signed us up that same day....
Husband is totally engrossed in yet another episode of 'The History Channel's 'Alone' series.
Husband> Mmm...that's nice, hon.
Wife moves to stand almost directly in front of the huge flat-screen on the wall.
Wife> Did you hear anything I just said? We're Couple # 3.
Husband grunts as he cups his balls and gives them a slig
THE GREAT WHITE HUNTER HAS SPOKEN
One Winter's Eve.....
Wife shoves a cell phone under her Husband's nose.
"You see that? What'd I tell you, huh?"
Husband> [ grunt #1]
Wife> "You wanted proof. Well, there it is. Now what?"
Husband> "Those aren't wolf tracks, Sev."
Wife> "They're not?"
Husband> "Nope. Coyote. The metacarpal pad is - "
Wife pulls the phone away. " Pfft! I don't give a rat's ass how you classify it. The thing was big. It had yellow, beady eyes, and it looked dangerous.
Husband> [grunt #2]
Wife> "Like it wanted to eat me."
Husband> [grunt #3] "No comment."
Wife> "So what do we do?"
Husband> [grunt #4]
Sheetz - 'Live Fast. Eat Well.'
The Place: The local 'Sheetz' convenience store.
The Time: about 6:30 pm.
The Final Destination: A Restaurant, about 30 miles away.
A vehicle pulls up to the gas pump.
Both husband and wife get out of the car.
Wife> I need cigarettes. You want anything?
Husband> Nah.
Wife> You sure?
Husband> Get me a King-sized Snickers. If they're out, I'll take one of those Giant Kit-Kats.
Wife> We're on our way to a five course meal. Why would you want to ruin your appetite?
Husband> If I eat the Snickers, I'll probably pass on the cheesecake.
Wife> (rolls eyes) Yeah, right. I'll see what they've got.
Husband be
Housecleaning In The Buff
God love him, but sometimes my husband can be a real prick.
Husband knocks on the bedroom door - one soft rap- then softly chuckles, "It's me... You decent?"
The door flings open. Wife is standing there buck naked. And she's not smiling.
"What do you think?", she fiercely whispers. "Jesus, Peak.. Couldn't you have at least warned me you were bringing someone home?" She brings a hand up to her flustered cheek. "Is my face still red?"
Husband (in his best pacifying tone) "Now honey, I tried calling, you didn't pick up."
Wife> "My god...this is so embarrassing. Is he still here?"
Husband> "Just throw something on and come
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Comments33
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Well, thank you. That sure was a blast from the past. And seeing your name, as well. Much appreciated; I'm tickled you thought to add my work; and from three years ago!